Building Family Bonds Through Martial Arts
At JKS Clyde, our martial arts club is open to students of all ages, from 5 years old to adults. Many of our students are families who practice Karate together, which is something I hold dear as an instructor. You see, I grew up practicing Karate with my stepfather.
When I was around 8 or 9 years old, my parents split up, and my father moved out, leaving just my mother, my brother, and me. Growing up in a rural community, it’s a small world. Shortly after, I started Karate – one of my school friends had begun practicing, and it just so happened that my mother had started dating my now-stepfather, whom she had met through a mutual friend at a summer music festival. I was also at the festival and got along well with him, enjoying the fair rides together. However, introducing a new father figure to the family can be difficult, as it can feel like a betrayal of one’s own father.
I had always maintained a very close relationship with my dad through our shared love of recreational fishing. We spent countless hours bonding over the years, sea fishing on the beautiful shores of Argyll and visiting reservoirs, lochs, and fisheries. Being so close to my dad made it hard for me to accept another man in the house, and at times, I would act out, being rude or disrespectful towards him, through no fault of his own.
This is where Karate comes into the story. When you step into the Dojo, all of life’s other factors take a backseat. You shed your normal clothes, put on your uniform, and you are all the same. You leave your baggage at the door and work to be the best version of yourself. Karate is often described as an individual sport within a team setting, and although we are all equal, respect is earned. This respect is earned through the rank you hold, as Karate is a rank-structured discipline, but most importantly, it is earned through the hard work you put in and the mutual respect you develop for your peers by training hard together and supporting each other’s achievements.
I can’t say that Karate was solely responsible for my developing respect for my stepfather and creating our fantastic relationship, but it certainly helped over the years. He was always a few grades ahead of me when I started, as he had been practicing for a few more years and had adopted a more senior role at the club. We attended gradings and courses together, always there to support one another. I watched him begin to enter competitions and followed in his footsteps, seeing him join the JKS Scotland Squad and attend international competitions. I worked hard to do the same, inspired by his achievements, until we were on a level playing field.
At some point, I no longer felt like I was betraying my dad, as I also saw my stepfather in the same light. There was room for both of them in my life, although it took me a while to get that notion out of my head.
To this day, my stepfather and I still share Karate with one another, and this time, it was I who gave my stepfather the push to take things to the next level. Our Dojo had closed during the COVID-19 pandemic, and I had been working a job that didn’t cooperate well with Karate, even going so far as to relocate me to a remote island. When my work situation changed and Karate became an option again, I began practicing with a great club in Glasgow, thanks to some encouragement from my girlfriend. I then decided to “parent trap” my stepfather by getting my new Sensei to contact him, and he too began training Karate again. Together, we put things in motion to reopen our old club, with my stepfather running it and me deciding to open my own after being inspired by my new Sensei in Glasgow. My stepfather and I then achieved our Nidan grade together and are closer than ever, bonded by our mutual love of Karate, competing, and running our clubs.
Now even my partner, mother, and little sister are involved!!!
Ultimately, my Karate story is a bit of a fairy tale, as I quit my job and am now a full-time Karate instructor. But you never know where your journey will take you, especially with the love and support of your family. It warms my heart to see my new students embarking on this same journey with their parents and stepparents, as a part of me wonders if one day, they will be where I am now – with a club less than a year old, fast approaching 70 students, and no signs of slowing down anytime soon.
Practicing Karate as a family has endless benefits, which you can read about below;
As a lifelong martial artist and the owner of a thriving family-oriented dojo, I’ve witnessed firsthand the profound impact that training together can have on parent-child relationships. When families step onto the mat and immerse themselves in the discipline, philosophy, and community of the martial arts, something truly special happens.
One of the most invaluable benefits is the opportunity for quality bonding time. In our fast-paced, technology-driven world, it can be all too easy for families to become disconnected, with each member pursuing their own interests and schedules. But by training side-by-side in the Dojo, parents and children are able to engage in a shared experience that fosters genuine communication, cooperation, and trust.
The structured setting of a martial arts class provides a unique framework for this bonding process. As students work through techniques and spar with one another, they must learn to read each other’s movements, anticipate each other’s actions, and develop a deep understanding of each other’s strengths and limitations. This heightened awareness and attunement naturally translates to enhanced empathy and consideration off the mat as well.
Moreover, the pursuit of belt rank and skill mastery gives families a common goal to work towards, instilling a sense of teamwork and shared accomplishment. I’ve watched parents beam with pride as they witness their children’s progress, and children draw inspiration from their parents’ perseverance and dedication. These shared milestones solidify the family unit and provide a wellspring of positive reinforcement.
Beyond the interpersonal benefits, martial arts training also delivers a host of individual advantages for both parent and child. The physical demands of the practice cultivate discipline, focus, and mental fortitude – qualities that are invaluable not only in the Dojo, but in all areas of life. And the confidence-boosting effects of mastering techniques and sparring with opponents can be truly transformative, empowering students to approach challenges with a renewed sense of self-assurance.
Perhaps most importantly, the martial arts instill a profound respect for oneself and others. As families train together, they learn to navigate the balance between healthy competition and mutual support, fostering an environment of camaraderie and community. This sense of belonging and acceptance can be especially impactful for children, providing them with a positive, constructive outlet during the formative years.
If you’re seeking a way to deepen your family’s bonds, look no further than your local martial arts studio. By stepping onto the mat together, you’ll embark on a journey of personal growth, shared achievement, and lasting connection – one that will continue to pay dividends for years to come.
